Vampire Rain

Genre: Stealth
Pay no more than:  £10
Metacritic average: 38

Poor old Vampire Rain.  It’s one of the lowest scoring games on Metacritic, scoring even less than the infamous Bullet Witch, and inspires feelings of revulsion in nearly everyone who plays it.  It’s not even any good as a source of cheap gamerscore-whoring.  Add to that the fact that it’s very similar to Splinter Cell: Double Agent - one of the shittest games I’ve ever played - and you’ll be wondering why on Earth it’s included in this article.

Well, instead of worrying about the game’s flaws, lets see what it gets right.  The game plays out much like an old version of Splinter Cell, but with vampires instead of the Chinese.  Unlike most modern stealth games, this sticks to the tight right angles and corridors formula of old stealth games rather than having you wonder if you can use that rock over there for cover.  That, in combination with easy to read patrol patterns, makes this a bit more like the original Tenchu and is all the better for it.

The best thing about the game though is the vampires.  If they see you, you’re dead.  None of this Buffy or Blade nonsense where a bit of kung-fu is enough to take them out.  Miss your shot and that vamp will jump sixty feet in the air and land on your neck.  No messing.  Tense isn’t the word!

The online modes looked like fun but are currently emptier than the JJB Stadium when Wigan are playing at home.

That said, the game is very much an acquired taste and I’d recommend trying out the demo first, but if you’re looking for old-school stealth action with badass vampires then your choices are either this or literally hunting for vampires in Transylvania, which I  suspect may well be prohibitively expensive.


Monster Madness

Genre: Twin-stick shooter/Action adventure
Pay no more than:  £10
Metacritic average: 55

Hands up who remembers ‘Zombies Ate My Neighbours’ on the SNES?

Excellent wasn’t it?  Top b-movie arcade action with lovely bright graphics and oodles of humour.  Well, despite the shoddy reviews, this game is pretty much the next best thing.

What Monster Madness has is variety.  There are lots of weapons and gadgets to use, excellent vehicles, some brilliantly realised levels filled with hordes of monsters ranging from werewolves and zombies to UFOs and robots.

The thing that really scuppers the game is the lack of an online co-op story mode but there are quite a few online modes to explore and offline co-op (which you’ll need as the game is rock hard).

 The visuals can be a little messy at times with lots of monsters and firepower competing for your attention, but in the end the gameplay shines through.  It’s not big and it’s not clever but Monster Madness certainly offers some decent larks.


Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Genre: Action adventure
Pay no more than:  £5
Metacritic average: 45

Yeah, I know.  Another film license.  This time it’s of the sequel to a film that I’ve got absolutely no interest in ever seeing (even if The Shield’s Michael Chiklis is in it).  I won’t lie, this is generic film license fodder and progresses videogaming no further forward than the average Atari console, but in its defense it is playable, and even occasionally fun (if playing as Thing).

It’s not a bad source of gamerscore either.  Although it does require two playthroughs if you plan on maxing it out, the gameplay probably holds together well enough for it to not be too much of a chore.

The (‘fantastic’) four characters all feel sufficiently different so you’ll probably find one that you like, but that said, I’d recommend shelling out the extra ten to fifteen quid and plumping for Marvel Ultimate Alliance instead.

So there you have it, five games of varying quality that won’t break the bank and hopefully won’t inspire you to sell your 360.  If you’re bored to tears of your collection these represent fairly decent value for money for savvy gamers.  Just don’t expect Assassin’s Creed levels of polish.

But then again, it’s not like the polish could do much with that turd is it?


Richie Harkness – www.peoww.co.uk