4) Bum Fights & Street Rugby

Okay, this one’s simple and self-explanatory. Roam the streets looking for those mumbling nut cases, then run up and lamp ‘em. Often enough they’ll take off, but they can spark off some pretty awesome fisticuffs with the crowd. If you get your weapon out (oo-er missus), things’ll get a bit serious though.

The peasantry in Altair’s town is a bit woolly, but don’t give up the scrap when they take to their heels. By using the ‘B’ button when you’re running, you’ll shoulder barge the thronging crowd out of the way. Give chase in this manner until you eventually get close enough for a touch tackle – also known as a jumping stealth kill.

Award your try’s with a pleasing draught of weak lemon drink.

5) The Pied Piper

This one works best out in the Kingdom while on horseback, although a careful free-runner can also make it work to some degree in the city streets.

It doesn’t take much to raise the suspicions and incur the wrath of the 12^th Century military while out for a jaunt on your horsey. Canter a little too quickly and they’re swords are out, baying for your blood. Well, if those armoured antagonists are going to be so touchy, charge through a regiment of them at full pelt so the chase is on.

Naturally, they struggle to keep up on foot while you’re casually meandering along on horseback, so maintaining a safe distance is a fairly simple matter. The sheep-like guards will alert their comrades as soon as they’re in ear shot, and before long you can have a pretty impressive number of them running behind your gallant steed waving their fists and shouting the Aramaic equivalent of “Get back here you pesky critter! Why I oughta…!”

There’s no particular assassinatory quality to this hobby, but it’s amusing to see Big Al taunt an entire herd of seasoned military hard men into a Benny Hill-esque parade.

Just don’t get so far ahead that they give up the chase, and be careful when approaching loading points as you’ll lose your legion of enchanted rats.

It’s probably best to save your weak lemon drink, as drinking and riding don’t go well together.

12th Century Trivia: Before the invention of reality TV, extreme voyeurism was usually reserved only for those able to climb atop buildings

So there we have it. A host of gameplay alternatives that should fully revitalise Ubisoft’s mercenary masterpiece and make it worthwhile sitting through those long and tedious talky bits.

Let us know if you’ve got any equally ingenious ways of wasting Altair’s time, and we’ll add ‘em to the list.