A Week in the Life of the Xbox 360 – 27/06/08
We’ve got ourselves something of a bumper crop of releases this week. That’s the odd thing about the summer drought this year. There seems to be plenty of games coming out, however most of them tend to be of the ‘avoid until it’s in a two-for-twenty offer’ variety.
Still, with a bit of patience and understanding, a game that might have been a lemon if it was released in the pre-Xmas schedules can actually seem like a bit of a hidden gem when released during the summer months. That can backfire of course. I mean, last year I bought Wartech: Senko no Ronde. For £50. I’ll never be clean again.
That said, I’ve had rather a lot of fun playing the universally-disliked Alone in the Dark. Maybe not worth the forty notes I shelled on it but a nice bit of filler during the long wait for Resident Evil 5. It’s these same lessened expectations that allowed me to pass last year’s summer with stints on Tenchu Z and Vampire Rain. I know, I know…
This week sees, uncharacteristically for this time of year, a couple of relatively big names. The first of these is Battlefield: Bad Company, a game big enough to warrant a public beta (albeit a very laggy one).
Bad Company is a follow-up to Battlefield 2, a game that kept large sections of the GV community enthralled with its huge maps (even if people only really ever played on Backstab) and varied classes. Unfortunately it was an EA game and that means that those servers were never going to stay up forever.
Bad Company on Xbox Live? Who’d have thought it!?
Initial impressions of Bad Company are that it is an above-average shooter that will attract a large, dedicated multiplayer community. Unfortunately, most of them will be team-killing, chopper-stealing pricks. However, if you fancy being shouted at by ten year olds with bionic thumbs and stupid, squeaky voices, then get enlisted today.
Next up is Command & Conquer 3: Kane’s Wrath. This expansion to last year’s Command & Conquer installment adds more scenarios, maps and units to the game that you probably should be playing on your PC. As you know, RTS games just don’t suit joypads but at a refreshingly low price point (£29.99 or less online) this standalone expansion does seem like pretty decent value for money.
C&C : That Kane chappy is angry again, world domination and all that jazz.
As part of their mission to make me as unhappy as possible, Activison are releasing Guitar Hero: Aerosmith onto the 360 today. I’m not sure I can equate Aerosmith’s bland line in cheesy power-ballads with actual guitar heroics but I can tell you that I’d Doctor Hero: Harold Shipman than this vapid piece of musical torture.
Oh, and if you were in any doubt that the Guitar Hero series is beyond redemption, this week also saw the free release of a World of Warcraft Guitar Hero single called ‘I am Murloc’. I’m now lost for derogatory words and will move onto Kung Fu Panda.
Unfortunately this won’t be much of a step up, seeing as how it’s both a film license and a kid’s game. Based on the animated Dreamworks film of the same name, this beat ‘em up/adventure title features voice acting from the film’s star Jack Black and follows the adventures of a bear called Po who probably has to save the day and… OH GOD I JUST DON’T CARE.
Kung Fu Panda : Gurning his tits off.
The demo was turbo-gash anyway, but it’ll probably be a decent source of gamerscore points if you can be arsed. I’m as bad a gamerscore whore as you can get but I think I’d rather actually track down Jack Black and fight him instead.
Oh, and Jackie Chan’s in the film so you know it’s going to be awful.
Last up is another film tie-in, The Bourne Conspiracy. Based on the, rather excellent, Bourne trilogy this sees you running around as Matt Damon (Maaatt Daaamonn) and getting up to all sorts of fighting, shooting and driving-related shenanigans. Unfortunately, pretty much all of the gameplay mechanics seem irredeemably broken but the game is getting a steady stream of average reviews rather than totally damning ones.
If you really need a spy-with-amnesia game, just pick up the Xbox title ‘XIII’. It looks better, plays better and is only really let down by a rather unsatisfying ending. Beats putting up with this game’s horrible fighting engine and intrusive cutscenes.
On the demo front we’ve gone all sporty with Top Spin 3 available to try if you fancy reliving the quarter final glories of Tim Henman and Don King’s Prizefighter which is, as expected, absolutely no fun to play at all. Still, nice of them to give us a warning.
